


(i'm helpless) when i'm oceans away

by gayforuswnt



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 10:14:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11895573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayforuswnt/pseuds/gayforuswnt
Summary: au. alex is playing in france ; kelley’s not good at being alone.inspired by that tumblr anon who said “imagine a fic based on this song” to @wnthitsthelinks !!





	(i'm helpless) when i'm oceans away

**Author's Note:**

> so here's this! hope u enjoy

 

Kelley has been dreading this week for a long time. The whole thing is bittersweet, to say the least, because she knows that Alex is going to do amazing things in France and come back a better soccer player, and she knows that this decision was the best for Alex’s future, but that doesn’t make the goodbye any easier.

 

-

 

Kelley cries a lot. She cries when she kisses Alex goodbye, she cries on the way home, and she cries when she walks to the couch in their apartment and doesn’t trip over any of Alex’s shoes on the way. 

 

Once she calms herself down, Kelley turns on the tv, but mostly just for background noise because she’s not used to the place being so quiet. Alex texts as soon as she lands, and Kelley tells her that their bed feels way too big. 

 

-

 

They facetime, text, and snapchat nonstop for the first couple weeks, but Alex soon gets caught up in the chaos of being Alex Morgan on a new club team in a new country, and the hours of texting quickly turn into short messages at the beginning and end of every day. They rarely have time to talk on the phone anymore, mostly because of the wildly different time zones between LA and Lyon, but even when Alex and Kelley are awake at the same time, one of them is usually busy, because life has to go on. 

 

-

 

Alex loves France. She loves the people, the soccer, the food, and the atmosphere. 

 

She doesn’t love waking up alone, not being yelled at for leaving her shoes everywhere, and having no one to kiss. 

 

Alex doesn’t love the lack of Kelley O’Hara.

 

-

 

Kelley slowly gets used to the quiet apartment and the bed that’s too big for one person, but she doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to not starting and ending her day looking into her favorite blue eyes. 

 

She sets alarms for 2 am so she can watch Alex’s games live, and can’t help but wonder if Alex will do the same for her once the NWSL season starts. 

 

During one game, Alex gets tackled and stays down for a second longer than she should, and Kelley aches to be by the forward’s side, telling her she’s okay. Instead, she has to text her and say “ **OH MY GOD PLEASE BE OKAY YOU’RE FINE RIGHT GET OFF THE GROUND DON’T DO THAT IT SCARES ME LOVE YOU MISS YOU”**

 

Alex responds a couple hours later with a thumbs up emoji, a heart, and a smiley face. 

 

Kelley now understands why long distance relationships are so hard.

 

-

 

When soccer season in America starts, Kelley and Alex are talking even less, which they never thought was possible. Tobin tells Kelley that it happens- they’re far from each other, they’re busy, and sometimes it’s okay to take some time off. But they’d never talked about taking a break, and just the thought of that makes Kelley’s stomach knot. 

 

She knows they need to talk, but she doesn’t want to, because that would mean addressing the fact that something’s wrong. She wonders if she’s overthinking it, but either way, she wants to see Alex’s face and hear her voice, so she facetimes her at 9 am LA time. 

 

Alex picks up on the first ring: “Hi.”

 

“Hey.” 

 

“How are you?” 

 

“Fine, you?”

 

“Good.”

 

“That’s good.” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

After a moment of awkward silence, Kelley sighs. “It’s been a month since we last facetimed.” 

 

“Wow, really?” 

 

“Yeah, and I just feel like, maybe, we should try to-”

 

She’s cut off when Alex hangs up abruptly, sending a text a minute later that says “ **Sorry, we’re in a hotel room and I have a game tomorrow so my roommate said we should get some sleep. We’ll talk soon if I can. Love ya”**

 

Kelley doesn’t realize she’s crying until a tear falls onto her laptop.

 

-

 

“Slow down, you think  _ what _ ?” Christen’s eyes are wide after Kelley finishes rambling. 

 

“I think maybe she found someone there and she just hasn’t gotten a chance to tell me because we barely ever talk anymore and last night was the first time we’d facetimed in a month and it hadn’t even been two minutes before she had to hang up and whenever we text it’s just like, ‘good luck today’ or ‘goodnight’ and I don’t understand how people do this whole long-distance thing because I’m so bored and lonely and I know I still have the team and soccer and everything but it’s so weird without her and I don’t even think she misses me anymore.” 

 

“That was the longest run-on sentence I’ve ever heard.” Christen gives a small smile, but she’s met with a glare from Kelley.

 

“I’m serious, Chris.” 

 

“Well, personally, I think you’re totally overthinking everything and scaring yourself. Alex is in love with you, Kell. You know it and we all know it. She’s not the type of person to do that. You just have to tell her how you feel, and then you guys will be fine.” 

 

Kelley wants to believe her, but it’s hard.

 

-

 

Alex has never felt more alone. 

 

She’s playing soccer better than she ever has, but she’s not loving it as much as she should. Of course, she loves her new teammates and she’s grateful for how welcoming they’ve been, but by April, she’s exhausted and lonely and sad. 

 

She has a lot of free time now that she’s fallen into a routine at Lyon, but her free time isn’t as occupied by Kelley as she hoped it would be. Their conversations are short and choppy and it’s like they never have time for each other. Alex doesn’t know if she should say something or just wait it out, and it’s even worse that she doesn’t have anybody to talk to on her new team because the Lyon girls’ English isn’t great. 

 

Some days she wakes up early to watch Kelley’s games, and other days she feels like a shitty girlfriend because she didn’t even know Kelley had a game until she saw pictures of it on Instagram. 

 

Alex wonders if Kelley misses her anymore.

 

-

 

Tobin has been talking to Alex a lot about Kelley.

 

Christen has been talking to Kelley a lot about Alex.

 

Unfortunately, Tobin and Christen have not been talking to each other about Kelley and Alex.

 

And that’s how Alex ends up at LAX on May 15th while Kelley is on a plane to Lyon. 

 

-

 

“Kell?” 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Where are you right now?”

 

“Uhh… I’m at the airport, why?” 

 

“Same!” 

 

“What?”

 

“I’m at LAX!”

 

“Oh my god. No you’re not.”

 

“Is that bad?”

 

“I’m in France.”

 

-

 

The hours of sadness and pain and confusion and loneliness all become worth it when Kelley wraps herself around Alex in the LA airport at 5 am. 

 

“Good luck getting me to let go this time.”

 

And that’s fine, because Alex doesn’t want her to.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think on tumblr : @gayforuswnt :)


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